Trying To Keep Up With My Diet

Some of you have been keeping up with my blog.  I was told by my doctor that I have Vitamin D deficiency and that I have to lose between 80 and 90 lbs.  Seriously!  And I was doing great, well, until the last two days.If there’s one thing you will learn about my blog is that I am an open book.  No, I am not the kind of person to posts nude pictures or grotesque sores, but I am not afraid to talk about nether region problems and other things I feel people need to know!  I just believe that most people are too uncomfortable asking about problems that could really save their life or make the quality of it vastly improved.

So I was really being good yesterday and the day before early on for breakfast, lunch and snacking.  It was supper I completely blew.  The day before was my Aunt Anna’s birthday, and I was at 800 calories for the day!  Great for a 1200 calorie diet, right?!  400 calorie dinner is fantastic news!  However, my “healthy” choice at Olive Garden cost me 750 calories and the salad was another 300 because I decided to eat two plates (it’s just that good!).  So I ended my day at 1850.  But then yesterday?  I was so depressed, I gave up after lunch at 750 calories, and blew it on another 1200 for snack and supper.  Really, Rocky?

I usually have given up by this point in time.  It’s usually some impending doom of, “Geez, you stink at life” or “Wow, what a screw up.”  The reality is, I just don’t forgive very easily, especially myself.  I want to beat myself senseless with my obesity and my unhealthy lifestyle and staggering triglyceride levels!  “You are unworthy, Rock!”

But here’s the difference from any other time I have dieted in my past. I actually woke up today believing I could do it, and I chose to forgive myself.  I chose to forgive life, my past mistakes.  I chose to move forward and not look back.

I checked my waist line that has been sitting around 37 inches.  About a year ago, I was around 44 inches.  This morning?  I was at 41 inches.  So what am I going to do about it?  I’m just going to keep on trying.  I’m not back to 44, and I’m not going back.  I’m 4 inches away to being back where I was, and I can do it!  How do I know?  Because I did it before, and I refuse to give up.

If you are having the same struggles, you shouldn’t give up either.  You’re worth fighting for and worth saving.  Maybe you have a spouse, children.  Or maybe you’re just single.  Someone somewhere out there loves you dearly.  Friends, family, significant others.  And you need to give yourself permission to love yourself, too.

There are so many people who mistake vanity for confidence and self love.  Vanity is putting your needs and your desires of yourself ahead of others.  Example, “I am the most beautiful person in the world, and you are just well… you.”  This phrase is pure vanity and self worship putting a negative spin on how someone else feels.  And here’s an example of self confidence.  “I’m doing the best I can.  Thanks for your support.  Without  you (friend, family, other), it wouldn’t be possible.”  This phrase is gracious, confident and humble.

Self confidence is a good thing, and it’s your inner self allowing you to believe in yourself.  Self confidence is giving yourself permission to take care of you so you can better someone else’s life.  If someone is in the military, for another example, they are training to defend this country.  They need to be strong, fast, witty, and thoroughly trained in order to complete this task.  Basic training is designed to build confidence in soldiers to make them stronger and more capable of fighting.  They are taught to take care of their fellow military members as well as civilians, commanding officers, high ranking officials and politicians, even the president.  Their entire career is designed around someone else and selfless sacrifice.  That’s why it’s so important we support them and their families.

Now, I’m not telling you to go join the military.  If you want to, that’s your choice.  But I am telling you that living healthy and exercising is for yourself, but it can (and should be) a selfless sacrifice.  Staying well and healthy physically, socially and mentally is vital to each and every individual whether it’s a person losing weight or not.  So be brave, be bold, and choose not to fight among each other (or yourselves).  And remember, you are worth fighting for.

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